Hold Me For A While Skarsgård
by KristinMShadows88
Summary: Meet Aaliyah wife of Alexander Skarsgård. This is about Bestfriends, Fame, Lovers, True Love, Children, Marriage, Loss, Hurt, Family, Seperation. Sorry best way I can describe it all. I wrote this a long time ago so it won't be right on with timelines. Just bare with me to post chapters it takes me a bit.
1. Author note

I am working on rewriting what I had written. To me its outdated and I want to change up my timelines to create a better one.


	2. Chapter 1 - Information

**Name:** Aaliyah Cheyenne Grace Skarsgård

Aaliyah Cheyenne Grace Lundgren

**Nicknames: **Chey, Gracie. Also sometimes goes by Cheyenne For Work shes known as Aaliyah Lundgren family call her Chey or Liyah. Alexander tends to call her Gracie at times.

**Birthday:** October 25th, 1976

**Location:** Stockholm, Sweden(born & raised); Los Angeles, California(Lives & Work mostly); Las Vegas, Nevada(Work mostly)

**Looks:** Think similar to Jenna Dewan-Tatum facial structure and curvy body, but she isn't fully like her just the similaries with many changes. Athletic, 40c breast, nice butt, 5'10, 138lbs, Long to mid-back length blondeish-brown(Hayden Panettiere hair color) with a bit more brown natural slightly ringlet curly hair. Intense Blue-Green eyes, decently nice teeth similar to Alex yet more feminine. She is model worthy beautiful with a dancer's body. She is naturally beautiful. If/When she wears makeup its mostly lipglosses/lipstick/ and eye makeups like eyeshadows, liners, and mascara. She doesn't really need alot of makeup due to natual beauty.

**Piercings/Tattoos: **4 piercings 2 each ear, belly button. Perfectly Flawed on wrists - She got when she was 18 in English and written in Script, 6 small quarter sized stars on her right ankel- 3 with Hammarby Green and White and 3 with Sweden Blue an Gold on left ankle her boys talked her into them when they were 5. More later.

**Husband/His Family: **

Alexander Johan Hjalmar Skarsgård (Born August 25th, 1976) Is a Swedish Actor. Family insight - Son of Stellan Skarsgård He married My, a physician, in April 1975 and together had six children:Alexander (b. 1976), Gustaf (b. 1980), Sam (b. 1982), Bill (b. 1990), Eija (b. 1992) and Valter (b. 1995). Alexander, Gustaf, Bill and Valter are actors, while Eija is a female model. Skarsgård and My divorced in May 2007 and he married Megan Everett in January 2009. The couple has two sons together, Ossian (b. 2009) and Kolbjörn (b. 2012). Stellan has a country house in Southern Sweden that his own father built in 2000.

**Children:** Will introduce them more within the story. Alex tends to keep his personal life very personal especially when it comes to his kids, but the world knows he has 2 sons. With his upcoming fame as time progresses he doesn't say much about his family(until I say other wise) and the world knows the boys identities some through their mother, but not the identity of their father. AJ tends to hide himself more as much as possible when in LA since he has gotten older. Erik tends to do the same even though they rarely travel with their dad. It helps keep the Paparazzi at bay especially for Alex.

Alexander Johan Hijalmar Skarsgård Jr aka AJ also known as AJ Lundgren - Born May 25th, 1995. Looks like his father Alex when he was a baby and growing up. 6'4 in height by late teens. Personality is more like his fathers. Loves football(soccer).

Erik John Stellan Skarsgård aka EJ also known as EJ or Erik Lundgren - Born May 25th, 1995. Looks alot more like Alex, but is a mix between Alex and Gracie as well as Blondish Brown hair, more of a Blueish eye color. 6'4 in height by late teens. Personality is a mix of his mother and father. Loves football(soccer) and dancing similar to what Aaliyah does. Born 15 minutes after AJ.

Ella Faith Angel Skarsgård also known as Ella Lundgren - Born May 25th, 1995 which makes her AJ and Erik's baby sister was barely 12 minutes apart from Erik. Died July 25th, 1995 she was tiny among other things will learn more later.

**Work: **

Photographer (She does scenes, models, concerts, and more)

Model (Been doing it since she was a little girl)

Dancing(She loves to dance has done so since she was a kid so she has done back up for some bands etc. She has also studied every form of dancing since she was 3 years old can even do gymnastic type moves as well. Her Nonno and Nonni taught her early on what they knew when they noticed her talent); She has been in alot of music videos especially doing backup dancing for many different artist.

Choreographer(many artist etc)

Makeup Artist

Some Acting (Mostly as an extra and what not). Pretty much she is very known, but has moments she can get by with out the Paparazzi. When in Sweden they barely bother her nor Alex.

Does more, but you will learn that and more so later.

**Parents:**

Father - Marcus L. Martin Lundgren (Born September 21st, 1951) Brown slight curly hair, blue eyes 6'5 Athletic and built up, work - was in the Swedish Military - Marines when he was alot younger, he runs a ranch since Aailyah was 12, a swedish actor in theater and tv/movies not to widely known in the US, but makes enough money to support his ranch life etc. Lets just say he is very well off when it comes to money especially due to his family through the years. Cousin to Famous Actor, Director, and Martial Artist Hans Dolph Lundgren. They look alot alike as well.

Mother - Leana Mylene N. Lundgren (Born February 11th, 1951) Blondish-brown curly hair to shoulders, Blue-greenish eyes, 5'10, 140lbs. 4 piercings 2 each ear. Very beautiful practically older slightly altered version of Aaliyah. work - actress in theater and modeled. Lets just say after her twin boys she had some work done figuring she was done with having children. Aaliyah was her surprise miracle baby she almost lost her.

**Siblings: 5 brothers**

Identical Older Triplet Brothers - James Owen Micke, Zachary Matthew Mitch, & Alec Jay Matthias Lundgren(Born March 6th, 1970) brown with natural blonde highlights slight curlish hair. Blue eyes, 6'3, Athletic and built up. Work - help run the ranch. Married with kids and in their own homes in the city. James wife is Vivian Jayne(Born April 10th, 1970) Brown hair, hazel eyes, 5'9 curvy nice body despite having identical triplets James Owen Jr, Mitchell Layne, and Allen M.(Born September 21st, 1990) Look like their father. Zachary's wife Olivia Jade(Born April 10th, 1970) Brown hair, hazel eyes, 5'9 curvy nice body despite also having triplets Zachary Matthew Jr, Ellie May, and Mia Jace(Born November 26th, 1990) Zachary Jr looks like his father but with his mothers hazel eyes, Ellie and Mia are same as their mother but with their fathers blue eyes and identical. Nadia Laye(Born April 10th, 1970) works as a nurse, brown hair, hazel eyes, 5'9 curvy nice body despite also having triplets AJ Noel, Jesse James, Jewel Ann(Born January 3rd, 1990). Aj & Jesse look identical to their father with their mothers hazel eyes, and Jewel looks like their mother but with blue eyes. FYI Vivian, Olivia, Nadia Linder-Lundgren are triplets themselves. They all married in April 1989.

Fraternal Twin Older Brothers - Marcus L. Martin Lundgren Jr & Marius A. Martin Lundgren (Born September 21st, 1972) their fathers mini me to a t almost 6'4 Marius has their mothers eyes. They works as veterinarians as well. Married with kids on the outskirts of the city. Marcus's Wife MaKayla Nicole Strodstrom(Born November 2nd, 1972) has reddish-blonde straight hair to shoulders, Hazel brown eyes, 5'7, beautiful to look at. She is a doctor in pediatrics. 2 children Stephen Paul(Born November 8th, 1991) looks like his dad but with reddish-blonde hair and hazel brown eyes and MaKenna Noelle(Born July 12th, 1993) looks like her mother but with hazel blue eyes. Marius's wife Lacey May Strodstrom(Born November 2nd, 1972) also is a doctor in obgyn. She is the fraternal twin to her sister with just hazel eyes but same height and reddish-blonde hair. Has 2 children Caiden Michael(Born November 9th, 1991), and Lillian Daze(Born July 14th, 1993) look like their parents. Married January 1990.

**Grandparents -**

Mother's Parents- Stephan M. T. Ramstad & Lillian M. L. Ramstad(They are in their 80's or 90's) Live in the city of Stolkholm not far from Alex's grandma even hang out with her. Stephan was a dancer and actor in theater while Lillian is a dancer turned teacher. They are Swedish/Italian heritage. Their grandchildren and great grandchildren call them Nonno and Nonni.

Fathers Parents- Riley J. Martin Lundgren & Candance J. L. Lundgren (They are in their 80's or 90's) Live in the city of Stolkholm. They worked as doctors til retirement. They are Swedish they go by Pappy and Mammy Lundgren.

**Best Friends:**

Alexander Skarsgård

Cassie Malstrom(5'10, Brown hair, Green Eyes, Athletic body type. Swedish. She used to be a professional dancer til she had a major accident performing and unfortunately it ended her dancing career so now she works with her best friend and is her personal assistant etc. her main goal is helping keep up with her godsons when Aaliyah has alot going on)

**Parents Ranch:**

Parents Horse Ranch is pretty big they can even grow a garden an what not as well.. Pretty much is similar to this -  eng/sales/detail/180-l-748-4000046802/stall-bermar -other-stockholm-st-13950

* They have known the Skarsgård family for years. Alexander & Aaliyah grew up together as much as possible. Pretty much making them best friends since they were in diapers. Alexander likes to spend time with the Lundgren's when he and his Father head to his father's country house not far off from their ranch.


	3. Chapter 2 - The start of Life

* Swedish accent very much there not matter what even until mid to late 2008 when they both take on needing American Dialect coaches in 2007.

~ Keep in mind when Alex and Gracie are talkin they tend to do so in Swedish with one another alot Especially in the first parts of the story. As it progresses I will sidenote make it known that they are doing so. I just won't use the swedish terms alot at first. Sometimes I will slip up using other laungages between Swedish, English, French, and German. I will side note it an their meanings. Mostly I will write in english and do side noting saying it should be in which ever laungage.

Hello, I am Aaliyah and this is my life.

Growing up in Stockholm, Sweden is an interesting experience. I was born and raised in Sweden. The food especially homemade is amazing, the cities, the history, music, theater, Hammarby football, it just has so much to offer.

I will always treasure Sweden as home no matter where I end up. Home is where your family is always. Life isn't always going to be easy, but I am happy to have the things that I do have. I have amazing family and friends.

I was always an interesting young girl from the time I was a little girl of 4 years of age. I found a major passion with dancing. I am a highly skilled dancer as the years progress and I soak up every knowledge of dance that I can. My Nonno and Nonni were my first teachers and they expanded my learning the different arts of dance as I grew. They noticed early on that I was destined to dance. So they have encouraged my learning of every style there is to offer in the dancing world. I love music and moving to the different styles of music it is just so amazing. As I got older I became sought after with my dancing most of all.

I even act a bit and sing, but I tend to keep my singing to myself. The acting I have done a few guest spots as I grew up as well as mostly theater work along side my dad.

I also became intrigued with photography to the point I always had a camera then began studying it more as I got older. I even became a model during my teen years.

I loved watching my dad and Stellan on stage growing up. They had amazing get togethers and parties. It was never a dull moment. I grew up with Alexander. Our fathers are great friends and they work together. They reminded us of hippies, but we didn't care we would fall asleep sometimes during their fun. It was an amazing time to grow up in at least to us.

Alexander and I turned into best friends as we got older. He was also my first kiss when we were only 6 years old. Through my dancing I met my other best friend Cassie(born March 10th, 1976). We have been in dance together since we were 4 years old. Cassie an I do everything girly that we can together. I am only super close to Cassie and Alexander.

Over the years as we grew up things changed alot for everyone. Alexander and I knew fame to an overwhelming point for only being 13 years old at the time. We also had a shyness to us from time to time. He was acting alot, while I was acting, dancing, and modeling. Soon we both started turning down alot and just trying to be normal kids for awhile. I still danced as much as I possibly could.

My parents owned an apartment, but then my dad bought a farm when I was 13 out in the country. Even though I ended up staying with my Nonno and Nonni for school most of all. I loved their apartment. I was thankful cause I got to be with Alexander and Cassie still.

When we were 16 years old more happened between Alexander and I. While in high school he didn't like it when other guys messed with me or attempted anything. Even though we both dated other people from time to time. We all acted up and enjoyed ourselves as much as possible, as well a causing some trouble. Before we finished school my dancing, acting, and modeling took off more. I went on vactions with my Nonno and Nonni to the states which helped achieve that.

We all made it to what most american's refer to as a Graduation even had more friends, but I was still closest to Cassie and Alexander. After Graduation Cassie traveled to Paris for college and ballet she was becoming a professional. Modeling took off more for me while I was attending college. We all worked whatever jobs we could get.

Around the time of graduation us being 17 years old things between Alexander and I changed big time. He admitted to still feeling more for me and I felt the same for him. We spent what ever free time we could get with one another. We were doing simple things like watching movies, going out a little bit from time to time. We were becoming very serious about one another. I was his Gracie while he was my Alex. Only he could get away with calling me Gracie. It has always been that way with us.

Alex and I have been dating now since May 1994. Graduation happend beginning of June and we welcomed it head first and ready to do whatever was next in our lives. I stayed in Sweden that summer instead of traveling and just spent my time with Alex. We worked as well as often as we could so our freetime was spent among ourselves, friends, and family. Soon August came and I attended local college for Photography. While working odd jobs. Alex doing the same.

Not long after my 18th Birthday we got shocking news. I was really sick for 2 weeks so the 2nd week of December I found myself hospitalized with what we thought was the flu really bad. It had me drained an ran down. Turns out it wasn't just the flu, but that I was pregnant. We kept asking how it was even possible when I took my pill like clock work everyday and we took other precautions as much as we could. Not to mention I filled them in on my mother's history. Alex is the only guy I have ever been with to this extent since I was 16 despite us dating other people since we were 13 and 14 years old.

We were both in shock. Our families were shocked, but excited because they never even thought it would ever happen especially between us. See when I was 13 I was told it might not be possible for me to have children in my future because my mother had fertility issues and ovarian cyest really bad. The ovarian cyest issue passed down to me, but I never had my fertility checked. I just took the birth control to help with my ovary issues if I didn't I suffered worse every month.

My mother had fertility help when she had my brothers hence why she had triplets first and twins second. While little me was a surprise and with no help fertility wise. Any how after awhile Alex and I's shock to learning we were expecting died down some that is until we had our first more serious appointment January 5th, 1995. When the ultrasound tech informed us there was three babies due late July or early August. Also informed us we would be lucky to go the full 9 months. Alex went pale as a ghost asking them if they are serious, while I was to shocked to even speak. They also wanted us to make a decision beings we are so young to do a selective reduction to the triplets. Left the room for a bit so we could discuss it after they gave us information more so. When they came back in I looked at Alex and he to me an we both at the same time said no we won't even consider it.

We ended up back at his parents apartment alot in his room spending time together he never let me far from his side. Even though we still did our own things. We told our families that not only were we expecting, but it will be 3 babies by late summer. I was scared they would all be angry especially with me that is until our mothers screamed excitedly.

The next few days or so we went to doctor appointments. Soon left the doctors for a high risk appointment. At our appointment two of the babies were measuring on time with how far along I was while the third baby was showing smaller. It worried us, but we just tried to stay positive. They informed us my belly measured that like a woman pregnant with twins and they suspected 2 of the babies are identical twins. We left the doctors after the check up an went had lunch then headed home to Alex's parents apartment..

We were laying in Alex's bed at his parents apartment his head laying at my bare(he had lifted my tshirt up to my boobs) small measuring that of having twins tummy at 17 weeks along just running his fingers over it from time to time. I would every so often run my fingers through Alex's hair. We hadn't really spoken much since our decision to keep all three babies. Other then to tell our parents the news causing our mothers especially to became over excited even more.

Mama My(she has had me calling her that since I was little) knocked on Alex's door poking her head an told us she was going to take his siblings an go to dinner with Grandma she had made Surströmming(fermented herring served with boiled potatoes and salad) an wanted to know if we wanted to join. Alex said no quickly with his head still on my tummy slightly. We had ate prior to coming back to the apartment after the appointment.

Sadly learning the hard way fast fish dishes turned my stomach badly since being home seeing as how Alex had ordered just that at lunch and I ended up running to the restroom sick several times. After we got here he made sure to brush his teeth before we came in his room to lay down due to the fact I couldn't kiss him or same result which I felt really bad for. I used my spare toothbrush and cleaned up.

I even kept telling him how sorry I was after laying here for a bit an he had hushed me with a kiss telling me it was okay he knows I can't control it. After everyone was gone we ended up having some major alone time an Alex and I made passionate sweet love before showering and falling asleep cuddled up together his hand on my small tiny belly protectively.

By March I was slowly showing a little bit more noticibly in tight clothes. Majority of our family knew by this point kinda hard to hide when around some of them an they cook fish and I get violently ill quick. Then everyone wanted to know right then if we would be married before the babies came. Alex and I both shook our heads no saying we would wait til we were ready and after our babies. Beings we don't want people thinking we took this next step because we were expecting.

We spent time back and forth between my parents ranch and his parents apartment among our rooms. When we were not working, with friends, or our families we were together. We had no clue what the babies were yet, but I was showing alot more. We took pictures as much as possible especially together and some amazing ones. I was able to work as a model still with my pregnancy to extents.

Alex was taking on being in the Military so he could better himself an support us all better as well. I told him it would be his choice and that I would support him no matter what. Within 1995 Alex was in the Swedish Military. He was home as often as he could be, but he was generally gone alot. It was rough on me, but I supported him and made do plus it helped we had our families support as well. He looked amazingly sexy in a uniform. Reflecting on old times was always interesting.

May 5th, 1995 we found out we were having 2 boys and a girl. The doctors were a little concerned because I was measuring of that of a woman pregnant with twins instead of triplets still, but other then that I was at the 7 month mark and doing well for my age and all. Alex was so excited when they told us two boys and a girl he couldn't contain himself when he said yay Baby AJ, Erik, and Ella. We had discussed names many times since we found out we were expecting. He kissed me he was so excited even though we were both still from time to time scared. He had some time off for this appointment today and so we could spend time together with our families tonight at a big out to eat dinner. We soon headed to the resturaunt after the appointment.

When at the resturaunt everyone was excited when Alex shared the news of what his babies would be beings they were finally not so stubborn an let us see. Alex was even more excited despite the fact it was still odd to think of the fact he was going to be a daddy, but then weirded out thinking about it some that he would be a daddy and big brother again. So we all got a good laugh. Eija and I were close I considered her my baby sister and she loved spending time with me when ever she could.

We took each day as it came the pregnancy was interesting regardless. While enjoying time among family at the resturant. I kept looking at Alex due to him being dressed up nicely cause he never changed when he got off duty this morning he just looked so handsome in his uniform. Alex shocked me greatly when he proposed to me with a simple gold band 1/2 karat marquise diamond ring. I know he worked very hard to get it and I was happy with it. I was even shocked, but I accepted his proposal which made him very happy. Even our mothers were excited beyond all. Soon they had us gathered taking pictures. We spent the evening together then he was back to work.

After spending some time with my mom out at the ranch and talking. I decided were im tired alot more lately that I would go stay at Mama My's apartment in Alex's room an go to my appointments and classes(I was still in college this time for photography). I had college courses til May 28th and I told my Mom I would be back then. Plus I wanted to spend time with Alex and be closer to everything. I missed Alex alot too so it is the closest I could be to him for now when he was working. So I packed what I needed an made the journey to the city.

A few weeks later after Mama and I got up late morning for our doctor apointments I had been having back pain alot and hurting, but told it was some what normal. I was informed while at my appointment I was starting to dilate and at 2cm, but it is normal. My back pain is back labor an just told to hang in there. Soon we were done with our appointments. Mama, Eija, and I all went out for lunch then made our way back to the apartments. I missed Alex alot hadn't seen him since the day before despite the fact things went a little far with us that evening. I got ready for bed in a simple light peach maternity nightgown my mom got me an curled up in Alex bed falling asleep to his scent.

After a few hours I woke up to major sharp intense pain worse then I already experienced and noticed something wasn't right at all. I pulled the sheets back and noticed blood covering the lower half of my nightgown and the bed. I freaked out crying and yelling for Mama My on she came to me as fast as she could thankfully. When she noticed what was wrong she helped me up slowly and made our way down to the car after she yelled to Gustaf(Gurra) to watch Eija. She rushed me to the hospital they took me into the back not allowing her. I was so scared an yelled to her that I needed Alex bad. She told me she would get him.

2 hours later Alex showed up an they had tried stopping the bleeding and my labor with medication not long after bringing me back. When he was there finally an holding my hand in his. I kept telling him I was sorry and crying. He would just shush me an try to calm me while looking paler then normal. After a few more hours my contractions had come to my belly and there was no more attempt to stop my labor they decided to no longer try to stop it because the medications they tried failed. Soon they gave me medication in my IV to help the babies lungs just incase.

Soon after another hour or so I felt the gush as well as even more intense contractions and squeezed Alex's hand tighter digging my nails slightly more then I ment to causing him to say ow fuck. They asked Alex after confirming my water had just broke to go out for a bit so they could check me better which I wasn't happy about. I didn't want him leaving. He was my rock even if things weren't always 100% okay with us. We are best friends above all.

He went out to our parents letting them know what was going on. It was late at night. When he came back in he sat in a chair near me holding my hand. After a bit when they had me sitting up he was rubbing my back from top to bottom trying to soothe me. He looked just as scared and miserable as I am sure I did. They checked me telling us we were at 5cm so we were able to rest for a bit now that they had given me some medication in my IV to help with some pain so I could rest.

Few hours later the pain was more intense and I felt pressure. They did a ultrasound noting all 3 babies were head down even though they noticed Ella's heart rate was dipping, but they said that could just be her being squeezed during the contractions. This isn't the first time Alex and I noticed Ella doing this so we both shared a common look to one another. Soon they checked me saying I was 10cms. They had me pushing and sadly telling the love of my life I really didn't like him and I blamed him, but he seemed to brush it off for the time being encouraging me to push.

At 2am after 10 pushes AJ aka Alexander Johan Hjalmar Skarsgård Jr was born screaming. They laid him on my belly we cried seeing him he was smaller then what Alex's sister Eija was when she was a newborn. I could see the blonde hair on his head a little bit, he looked alot like Alex's baby pictures same intense blue eyes just he was smaller. They soon took him after Alex cut his cord to weigh, clean, and monitor him. They told us 6 minutes later that he was 4lbs 2oz 18 1/2 inches, but doing perfectly.

Soon I was pushing again and then at 2:15am Erik John Stellan Skarsgård made his entrance into the world screaming. They laid him on my belly and I noticed his hair was blonde as well, but looks mixed between Alex and myself an also just as small as AJ. Soon Alex cut his cord and they took him to weigh, clean, and monitor. He seemed very upset and was screaming hard when they took him away from me. They told us 6 minutes during my next set of pushes that he was 4lbs 18 1/2 inches long.

Finally despite feeling our baby boys born. I soon felt our last baby making her grand appearence. At 2:27am Ella Faith Angel Skarsgård was born with a struggling cry. They laid her on my belly for a few minutes and I noticed her blondish-brown hair and blue with hints of green eyes. She was having a hard time crying an breathing we all noticed fast. So they had Alex cut her cord quickly and they rushed her to be helped and checked. I was worried and upset so was Alex because you could hear our boys crying off an on, but not our little girl. Soon they informed us they were taking her to the NICU for further help she was still struggling to breath unlike her brothers. She was very tiny compared to her brothers being only 2lbs 15 inches long. They took her to the NICU after getting her some what stable an us touching and holding her lightly again.

After my labor, birthing, and after birthing was done they got me cleaned up. I was crying a bit off an on so was Alex. They informed us that AJ and Erik are identical twins, but AJ is more dominate of the two. We noticed they looked alike in many ways with slight differences. A Nurse had taken pictures using my camera as the babies were born an us doing what we could. Soon we took turns despite our tears off an on an worry for Ella we held AJ and Erik an took pictures. After a bit the nurses took the boys after I nursed them both to the NICU to be watched also informing us they will alternate between formula and breast milk for them to gain some weight. After we were alone I broke down and Alex just held me telling me how proud he was and happy, but he was breaking to. We were worried about our baby girl cause we had no word on her since they took her.

Alex went to inform our families despite how late it was an they being there for us waiting. The hospital staff despite the time let them see us for a bit an they left. Everyone was so kind especially beings they kept it a private matter. We both are slightly famous so it wasn't easy. Alex soon after we were told by my nurse to get some rest and they gave me medication curled up on the hospital bed holding me to him his hand on my now some what smaller then it was empty belly out of habit. Whispering to each other our love yous an fell asleep while we could drained from the days events.


	4. Chapter 3 - Keep going

Our babies were born May 25th, 1995. We spent majority of our free time with them. My bleeding they finally told us was caused by the boys placenta's tearing and because Alex and I had been intimate.

Alex tried to be with us as often as possible, but he was "government property". They knew what was going on so they gave him his few days off as they could. I know he will miss out on alot of our babies first year, but I know he wants to do this. Even though since our teens our family life has been strained for us we know our families are supportive no matter what.

Our babies were thriving as much as possible. Days turned to weeks, while weeks turned to a month. I was happy an noticing the slight changes in our babies and myself. We treasured every moment we have gotten.

One night I was looking at myself in the floor length mirror in my room at my Nonno and Nonni's. I noticed when I lifted my shirt that my once flat toned tummy was still recovering, but the weirder part about it all was looking at my belly button piercing. It all looked abnormal my Nonni noticed me looking an that I was down. She came up behind me an said the beauty of life is your young enough to regain yourself within time. She believes things happen for a reason. We hugged and I left going back up to the hospital to give my babies breast milk.

We took as many pictures as possible. We were able to hold and touch Ella. The nurses made it known they noticed Ella was calm the most when she was against Alex and I's bare chests. She especially loved being up close to her daddy.

If it was possible to fall more in love with someone then it was watching Alex hold our babies and be with them. The boys were gaining weight. I loved seeing them all three near one another as the doctors allowed them to be.

Alex and I trying to hold all three was amazing the boys liked being on the outside with Ella laying between them. I learned the true meaning of a mothers love looking at my babies.

We learned Ella was having small issues breathing on her own still since birth. Ontop of that a issue with her heart that they were trying to say wasn't true til we had more specialist brought in when they were 1 1/2 month old despite the team of doctors working on her.

I loved seeing my babies dressed up in their little outfits Alex's grandma and friends made and got for them they were so tiny. I also enjoyed shopping for them. They were growing and I noticed they were going to be tall as they got older. AJ and EJ looked identical in many aspects with slight differences between them. We took pictures of them constantly and remaining as positive as possible.

Alex and I even talked about our wedding plans and what he wanted after he got out of the military. I told him I was in no rush for a wedding and just let us take each day as it comes. He also wanted to go to college at Leeds Metropolitan University to better himself. I told him I would support him in any choices he makes.

The new specialist started doing what ever it took to figure out what was wrong with Ella. A week before the triplets were 2 months old Ella out of no where contracted an infections causing more issues to happen. Ella was fighting for her life. Come to find out the infections were introduced to Ella through the now former medical team. So Alex fired them fully from managing Ella. Yet it could have been prevented. So we had a lawsuit on our hands sadly. Thankful my Mom's brother is a lawyer an took the case.

Alex was with me and the babies on their 2 month mark. When the new specialist informed us they now knew from all their tests an reports during the pregnancy why Ella's heart would drop. Ella was diagnosed with Congenital heart defect and Patent ductus arteriosus (PDA). Meaning she would need to get healthy again and strong enough to have some surgeries in the future.

July 25th, 1995 Ella took a turn for the worse. Alex and I stayed together by her little side. She passed away at 6pm that day. It tore Alex and I apart holding our baby girl one last time as she took her last breaths. She was a beautiful little baby girl despite being only 4lbs while her brothers had reached 6lbs.

When the boys were 2 months and 15 days old they were released to go home. They both got to come home. AJ being 6lbs 9oz 21 inches long and EJ was 6lbs 21 inches long. Alex and I had Ella cremated and Dad - Stellan organized a small service for her among close family only. Her cause of death was the issues with her little heart as well as the infections that could have been prevented.

We went about our new routines with our now considered just twin boys despite us starting out with triplets. Alex was gone due to his job in the military, but I know we had to grasp at some what of a normal life. It tore us apart emotionally loosing Ella. I attended therapy to help me through it. Alex I was unsure of what he was doing to get through it. Our boys meant everything to us.

My parents finished the room next to mine at their home. They turned it into the boys room with green walls. Their bedding for their cribs was beautiful as well between light blue and green just simple. They even both had one of Alex's shirts with them always it soothed them when he wasn't around. Everything for Ella was placed in a big family cedar chest that my mother had in our family room. She said she did that so that apart of Ella was in the house for everyone to be near.

Taking care of our sons alone most the time with just our family to help here and there wasn't easy. I had my major breaking down points and Ella was never far from my mind. When I looked at our boys sleeping in one of their cribs together cuddled up to each other it made me happy knowing I have them still.

Alex one night when he was home presented me with a single gold baby bootie with a emerald gem attached to a set of his dog tags on one of his chains. Showed me on his set of dog tags he wore constantly that he had one on his set as well. Made it clear apart of Ella and him were with me always while she was with him always. He handed me a second necklace with two more gold booties with emeralds attached claiming they are for our two boys. I loved it and hugged and kissed him.

I had been back on a stronger pill to prevent pregnancy since the triplets were born. So when the boys were 6 months old and Alex's new baby brother was 1 month old. Valter was born on my 19th birthday. We were fully intimate together for the first time since we had the triplets. It was different from our times before and it hurt similar to my first time, but he was sweet about it and kept assuring me I was beautiful still.

I didn't have much of any stretch marks or anything like that. I had started loosing the weight alot thankfully since the birth. I was slowly getting back to my old body. I stayed active through my pregnancy to any extent that I could. I started working out and slowly got back into my dancing to get fit again. Alex was more intrigued with my hips more then ever before he made that clear when we were finally intimate for the first time in a long time.

The boys their First Christmas ended up with them sick and in the hospital with upper respitory infections. Doctors claimed it was normal especially for preemie's to get this sick. For sure not a good time for me Alex couldn't be with us. So that was rough on me thankfully my Mom was. Between juggling being a Mommy, Fiancee, Work, and life. I was over whelmed alot still and struggling with the loss of Ella, but I knew I wasn't fully alone when it came to it all. Alex was a daddy dealing with the same thing regardless.

The therapy was helping some. I sadly in the back of my mind would wonder the what ifs and what not. Worse of all I started blaming myself. I even got to the point I felt like Alex blamed me to. Therapist claimed I shouldn't stay thinking that way. So I was trying my best not to. When the boys were down for the night I would break down to myself in bed.

It became more painful especially when her little wooden engraved urn box with her footprints, name, and dates on the wood came in. It had come while I spent time in the hospital with my boys. We couldn't bare the thought of any other way of doing this. So this way she was with us and her brothers always. Even though some people seemed to find it distasteful, but we didn't care. Alex's Grandma was who came up with the idea for us to do this and make our peace with the situation as time passed.

When Alex could be with the boys I loved watching him interact with them. They lit him up like nothing I had ever seen before. He loved being a big brother and now a daddy. It made him feel needed and wanted more so. Alex was a changed young man that was evident.

Eventually Alex got out of the Military not to long after the boys first birthday. We celebrated it among our family and friends as well as released pink balloons for Ella. Alex's grandma insisted we do that for her great granddaughter. He left for 6 months attending Leeds Metropolitan University. He admitted to having more fun then studying while there, but I understood and still supported his choices. Not long after he was back with us he admitted to thinking about his life in the long run. So we got talking not long after that about how he wants to get back into acting and go to New York and attend Marymount Manhattan to better himself even more for himself and our family. He really wanted to start acting again.

Alex and I went out one night with friends Cassie included. She was home for the weekend. He was leaving for New York in the near future. We danced, drank and just had some much needed fun. We hadn't gone out since he came home. He mostly just spent time off doing his own thing or even with the boys. We had been intimate a few times.

We were enjoying our time at the club among our friends. Alex left my side for a bit to get us some more drinks. As I was following Alex off the dance floor I felt yanked back onto the dance floor an came face to face with my ex-boyfriend Mattis. I hadn't seen him since graduation and he left for college. We hadn't spoken to much since we were 16.

He forced me to start dancing with him and told me I was a liar when it came to my best friend Alex. He said he knows it is more then that and his mother informed him I was even a mother. I told him it is true, but doesn't make me a liar. He started getting forceful claiming it should be him and that he wants me. I told him not going to happen because im happily engaged to Alex. I tried to walk away when he dug his fingers into my hips roughly surely leaving marks.

I wanted Alex so bad at the moment feeling things were about to get worse. Mattis kept grinding into me with the song as I would try to get away. I managed to push him away twice and attempt to walk off only to be yanked back against him again. He smacked me in the face and brought up he knew also I had three babies that should have been his not Alex's. If it was him my daughter would have been alive so its my own fault. I tried to spot Alex at the bar in the mix of tears burning my eyes from the force of the smack to my face and the words just spoken. I sadly didn't see him figuring he went to the bathroom or something and just hoped he would find me.

This is partly why Mattis and I didn't last he has anger issues among more. Next thing I knew Mattis was grinning with a odd look in his eyes after searching for whatever he was looking for and next thing I knew he was roughly forcing kisses to me and I struggled to get him off me. Cassie as well as Alex and I's other friends noticed this whole conflict once Cassie saw Mattis smack me going on. She was trying to get to me.

Soon I felt Alex busting us apart and relief flooded through me til I caught his eyes and he looked at me with major hurt and disgust that right their broke me instantly despite the alcohol flowing through us. He turned to Mattis said he hoped he was fucking happy, words were exchanged between them, then they hit one another a few times. We were all removed our friends in tow.

Cassie had me pulled to her trying to calm me down. Soon Alex turned to me and started going off and went as far as telling he can not fucking stand me right now. He was so angry an hurt wanting to know how long that had been going on behind his back. Cassie spoke up quickly and told him not to be fucking stupid our other friends agreed. That Mattis started this not me. I have been faithful to him and not had time for anyone else besides our two boys. Cassie even through it in his face how often her and I would talk and how torn I was letting him go off to the Military and then to Leeds with everything we have gone through. An to keep in mind despite all that I stood by him and supportive.

Then he brought up his ex-girlfriend from highschool on how she approached him tonight an now he wished he had taken her up on his offer. Those words cut through me hard. The words got exchanged more between us and highly heated to the point I shouted at Alex I know he can't stand me because it is my fault our daughter is dead. I know he blames me and I was a fool to think other wise. He stopped stunned by my outburst and stumbled over his words and claims he doesn't think that at all never has.

After some time we calmed down thanks to our friends. We made up slightly after that and went into another club beings the night was still young. Little did I know that his ex-girlfriend had followed us and watched the whole way. I knew she never stopped wanting Alex. I was dancing with Alex and we were kissing. Kept telling each other how sorry we were from our spat earlier. We had drank quite a bit more and feeling the effects big time at this point. I wanted him so bad and to just go home, but we both needed the time out with friends.

He lightly touched my cheek where it was sore from the hit from Mattis and he said he was sorry he didn't believe me at first. Asked me to forgive him so I did. He brought my left hand to his mouth kissing my engagement ring and grinned. I grinned back dancing with him as the music was blasting through us. Soon we excused ourselves to the restroom and I would get us some more drinks.

I got us 2 more beers from the bar then tried to find Alex. Spotted him on the dance floor dancing. When I noticed who was dancing up behind him. I felt my heart in my throat, but that wasn't the worse of it he turned around and then they were kissing. I felt my heart shatter in my chest. Alex looked up an our eyes connected tears welled up in mine and I dropped the beers glass shattering. Turned myself around making my way to the table were his buddies were sitting with some girls. I grabbed my jacket quickly walking out of the club fast Cassie running up behind me trying to comfort me.

I heard Alex running out the club behind me with two of his buddies and he was yelling for me to stop and let him explain. He thought it was me when he turned and crashed his lips to hers, but that didn't make me feel any better it just broke me more. I calmly said I can't do this anymore the look on Alex face went from major hurt to anger and he said oh and it's all been easy on me the last 2 fucking years. I shook my head no unable to speak. Alcohol in our systems made our arguement more heated I barely recall everything said and done. Just that I threw my engagement ring at Alex and the look on his face was as though I had knocked the air from his lungs and he looked broken. I left Alex standing there with our friends after picking my engagement ring up an tears welled up in his eyes as he sobered some when I yelled I am not worth it anymore nor is all this. I ran and caught a cab to take me to my parents home.

I got back to my parents home crying. My daddy was up claimed he was up cause the boys had awakened him over an hour ago needing changed. He asked me what was wrong as I collapsed in his arms clinging to him. I was so broken and hurt told him his dream for Alex and I is offically shattered. He knew instantly what I meant.

My daddy just held me tighter to him as I cried til I passed out over exhausted and from the alcohol consumed. He picked me up carried me to my room stripped me of my boots and covered me up in bed. It was only 4 in the morning. The next morning I woke up at about 11am everything came back to me instantly. Then I noticed Alex never even attempted to come after me made everything hurt more. I knew it was over at that point.

My daddy told me later that evening that he did come by after he put me to bed, but he felt it best we sober up and calm down. Then attempt to work things out between us. He made Alex go to bed in his room in our house an stay away from me. When I knew he was there an he attempted to talk to me only to get upset with me a bit more. I went out an went riding letting him think about everything that was said as I did the same. Plus be with our sons beings he had to leave for New York eventually.

He tried to call, but I wouldn't talk to him much only as needed pertaining to our boys. We ended up agreeing to time apart broken up to work on ourselves agreeing that maybe at some point we could be together again. He saw the boys even though when he did I was no where around I just didn't know how to handle everything except to go horse back riding and bury myself in working in any way possible.

The boys had strong personalities. AJ tended to be alot like Alex while Erik was a mix of us both. I was so proud of them and their milestones. I started working more again taking on whatever I could get. The boys when I had to go away were kept with mine and Alex's parents. I just took care of them as much as possible and worked. My fame was growing again with my dancing especially. I was acting off an on as well. It was a bit overwhelming, but I knew in the long run I would have enough for the boys later on.

Buried myself in my studies since graduating high school and I just wanted to study anything I could. Then took time to myself when my babies were born and after loosing Ella. Then I jumped back into it all. I had finished my photography and filming schooling by mid 1997 and started advancing in every way with it as well. I enjoyed being behind the camera even more. Taking pictures even if it was just of my sons lit a fire inside me and made me feel alive.

I started taking pictures of music artists, models, and more. I just enjoyed what ever I could get doing photography and just enjoyed being a dancer, model, and actress as well. Filming I didn't do a whole lot with unless it was taking video of my sons.

During 1996 I met a group of guys in a band during my times working all over Sweden. They had me come in an help out the youngest member of their band with his dancing just to have the extra help. They are known as NSYNC we all became friends. I learned they were in Sweden to record their first album and build their fame. They are amazing guys through and through. After Alex and I were pretty much considered done JC an I would flirt a good bit to be honest.

I was honest about the fact I had two boys back home in Stockholm. They asked me to tour with them when they do tours over here and maybe the US in the future so I agreed. We all kept in touch as much as we could. At some point by 1997 JC an I went out on a few "dates", but kept it simple and just platonic and friendly. I felt something more for JC, but didn't want to rush things at all.

In Summer of 1997 Alex started seeing a girl and I did my best to hide that it upset me. I spent time with JC and the guys as much as I could while raising my sons. I even toured with them a little bit while here around us. Then Alex left for New York still seeing that girl. I barely talked to him since our fight an sorrys. He finally got a hold of me after being gone for 4 months an we talked a bit.

While Alex was away our families helped me alot more with the boys while I worked more and more. Just tried to enjoy life to the fullest no matter what. I loved spending my time with my sons the most. Since they were born I did everything I possibly could for them and more. AJ I noticed more and more as he got older looked alot like Alex while Erik favored us both in some features. It made me question them being identical, but then I would notice that they were in many aspects.

While we talked at times still saying our sorrys again, but neither of us were fully ready to fix everything. He slipped up one night talking to me about our boys telling me he misses me and most of all still loves me. I asked him to please not speak of such things when he is with another. So far we mostly agreed to disagree about our relationship status the most at the moment. We ended up just remaining broken up and our engagement off it wasn't easy.


End file.
